potential

There are few double-edged swords sharper than that of "potential".
My whole life I've heard that word. I have potential to spare. So much, in fact, that its seemingly impossible to live up to. Semester after semester - the bane of my report card: Does not work up to potential. Fails to meet potential. Does not meet expectations.
And potential is directly linked to expection, isn't it? My potential dictates your expectation. Your expectation is, really, your assessment of my potential. Which is why I must get much better at that old customer service hat trick: managing expectation.
Webster's (okay, dictionary.com) defines potential as "a latent excellence or ability that may or may not be developed." Through nature or nurture, I've somehow come to view it as "the opportunity to dissapoint." Which is, in itself, dissapointing as I of course pride myself on my positivity...
This week I became one of people that didn't lose their jobs in my company's layoff of 15% of their employees - which is odd as I've been in my current sales position about 6 months. At this point, I've cost the company more in locksmiths and replacement blackberries than I've actually brought in in sales. A senior rep was let go, as was a fellow newbie (but one who had been with the company for 10+ years in another role). The same question keeps rolling through my mind like a mack truck: Why do I still have a job? And the same sickening answering keeps rolling through my stomach like a cement mixer: Oh dear god they think I have potential.
Its terrifying.