Dear Middle School Teachers,
I just
received Sam’s mid-term grades, and I just wanted to say ‘Thank You’. I had
some anxieties about Middle School, organization, time management. I’m assuming
you’ve all seen this manila folder, Sam’s file. In my mind it has this large, red stamp across the front that says, ‘ADHD’. Inside are old Clearview nurse forms
with medication instructions – first Ritalin, then Adderall, then, (frankly a
lifesaver- screw me anti-pharma extremists) Strattera. But nothing for the last
year, as my blossoming boy is med-free (screw me over-prescribing
psychiatrists). The world is not black & white. Find your grey.
The
diagnosis you won’t see in that file (which if you had a hot minute to spare
among your spread-too-thin, under appreciated time, you probably reviewed on a
screen, but in my head it is a manila folder with a red stamp.) What you won’t
see is his Asperger’s diagnosis.
You
know how I have to annoyingly ask you to send two copies of every important
paper/calendar home at Back to School night? That whole 50/50 thing? Well, it’s
not just where they sleep. It’s something called Custodial Custody. And it’s shared. And if his father, who loves him
very much, doesn't feel it’s in his best interest to sign the release, he’s not going to sign
the release. And he has as much right to that choice as I do.
So you’re
in the dark. You may not know that Sam will absorb information well if you
present it in a straight-forward manner, but if you make an analogy or use
hyperbole to make your point (which is exactly what will engage 80% of your
class, and I get that) you will lose Sam. Your concern is the class as a whole,
and my concern is one out of your thirty students, and this will sometimes put
us at odds.
So I
don’t expect miracles. But – that is what I got. I got a mid-term report that
sent me over the moon. Much of that is Sam, and much of that is you, and I just
wanted to say Thank You.
Jeanine
Pranses
(Sam
Carr’s Mom)
P.S. – you haven’t heard from me yet, because I spent most
of elementary school micro-managing Sam’s education, trying (sometimes
succeeding) to pick his teachers, his reading group, his disciplinary system.
I called it “being an advocate”, and sometimes it is. But I didn't want to ‘warn
you’ or ‘advise you’ – I think you know what you’re doing, more than I do as I didn't study the science of education – I wanted you to meet Sam with open arms
and find your own way to him. And you have shined, and I am always happy to
partner with you when you think it will be helpful. You can reach me at
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