June of Jeanine becomes July of....?

So what is June of Jeanine? Well, its morphed a thousand times, and its only June 19^th.

At its core, June of Jeanine is being good to myself – doing what feels good. That’s included AM yoga instead of a cigarette & coffee, but sometimes it also includes Taco Tuesday and barhopping with my guy. But what it requires more than anything is honestly.

Because yoga feels good. And beer feels good. But that doesn’t make them equal.

The key is honesty. I come from a long line of people who are very talented at lying to themselves. The superpower of Denial runs strong in my veins.  And there isn’t a day I couldn’t convince myself that beer or wine is just what I need. June of Jeanine is about creating the space to think about that – what REALLY feels good? Downward Dog, or a hangover?

A buzz feels good, and I haven’t denied myself that.

Reading a good book on my lunch break feels good, and I haven’t denied myself that.

Half pigeon feels good, and I haven’t denied myself that.

Quitting smoking doesn’t feel good, and I’ve made strides. But alas, smoking cigarettes feels good, and I haven’t entirely denied myself that.

The point of June of Jeanine, succinctly, is that I have not denied myself ANYTHING. I have put self above all – some would call it selfish. I’ll go with that whole “put your own oxygen mask on first’ thing.

The promise I made myself in late May was that June of Jeanine would NOT be about judgment. The overarching message was “make the next best choice”. Don’t big picture. Day by day.

By not having a strict plan to follow, here’s what I’ve gained: I’ve woken up to do yoga first thing 17 out of the last 19 days. I’m certain if I made a strict rule, I’d top out at ten, cause that’s just me.

I’m down to 3 cups of coffee a day, none after 3:00pm, which is a marked improvement.

I’ve drank, mostly socially, 5 times in 19 days. That’s down from, roughly, 18 in 19 days.

Its not perfect. I’m not the juicing, detoxing queen of sitting Lotus. But I’m  not a hot mess, either.

So what does July hold? If June was about gentleness, July is about ass kicking. July is about challenging myself – sweating every day, upping my miles & my weight, lifting, running…so, yes, July is gonna kinda suck. But June laid the groundwork for relaxation, for daily (almost!) meditation, for the self love I was missing that will make July possible.

It will still be day by day, minute by minute, choice by choice, because I’ve discovered ‘rigid’ just doesn’t work for me. But while June was about being gentle with myself, July will be about kicking my own ass. 

Wish me luck.