our mirrors

Do you ever give any thought to the quantity and quality of the mirrors you look into?
We can spend unlimited energy and time trying to know ourselves (if your narcissism approaches mine, really - unlimited energy & time) but do we ever approach any kind of objective assessment? No, we don't. So we rely on mirrors.
Our parents, our friends, our children, our lovers. These are our true mirrors. How do they see us? How do they experience us? How much import do we award these mirrors, and how accurate are they?
I've spent some time, as of late, putting myself in the shoes of my trusted mirrors, trying to see what they see. As...difficult, and let's say, well, painful as this exercise can be...surely there's a lesson of value there. But the results are so diverse, and so...filtered.
FIRST let me say - an honest mirror is worth its weight in gold. Flattering or not, there is no one in your life of as much value as your honest mirror.
My mirrors are varied any many.
My father, I think, while proud, probably views me as somewhat...impulsive. Lacking a plan. Certainly lacking a budget (as i am). There are things I could do better at.
My mother, I fear, thinks I am a bit superior. Big for my britches, in a way, much the way I think of my daughter, often.
My ex. He finds me lazy, a poor housekeeper, and probably a bit of a know-it-all.
My friends.
My friends are varied. I have one that thinks I sold out. I have one that thinks I should sell out and haven't yet. And, I recently learned, I have one that thinks Depression is a little bit of bullshit, and an excuse for my lazy approach to life. This was a...difficult realization. It was difficult because, like most people, I assumed the fact that this person was my friend meant they thought I was pretty, well, fucking cool. Why else would they waste their time on me?
I sat with this a bit. I went through the usual process, anger, denial, resentment, acceptance, what have you. I came out on the other side. Well, not really...I'm on way to coming out on the other side. But I learned something important already.
Those friends that support every choice you make; they're great. They're necessary. They build you up.
Those friends that risk your friendship to speak hard truths to you, knowing you may revolt and leave them (i have a few)...they're great too. They may tear you down, but that's just as important. They're brave. And they should be valued.
Its like...conservatives watching Fox and liberals watching MSNBC. You can't surround yourself solely with people who validate the opinions you already hold. If you do... you're not growing. And, you know, painful or not - growing is important. Its everything, really.
I was recently a less-than-flattering mirror for a friend. I looked for very supportive and loving ways to communicate it. It was...a struggle. I am spending a lot of time, today, hoping it didn't cost me a friend.
But...I've come to believe that there is no higher calling than honesty. That regardless of fall out, of the practical consequences, we're here, ultimately, to learn from one another. To grow. To move forward. When we can do that together - that is the ideal. When we can't, we should still be grateful for the growth. Growing pains and all.